i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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