she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Randomize
