why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
