I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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