My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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