i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
