My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
