We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
