yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
