Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
