You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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