When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
