GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
