38 yer olds are good kisserssss
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
