just come out here and I will go home with you...
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
