Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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