Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
