I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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