I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
