Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
