The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
