we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
