This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
