i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
