idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
