why didn't you poke me back
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
