tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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