I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
