my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
