so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
