Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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