The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
