I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
