you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
