I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
