If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
