Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
