Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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