Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
