just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
