My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Randomize
