I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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