I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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