I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
