his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
