Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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