I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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