yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Randomize
