In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
