I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
